"Renewed day by day"
where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She
said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
-A little introduction-
As a young child, I always had an awareness of God in my life, though I did not know Him. After a traumatic past in my childhood, I found my freedom in Jesus Christ. I am a born again Christian and have been since the end of summer 1992. I was baptized the following year.
19 years later my husband and I were lured into a deception, so much deeper than the one I experienced and escaped from in my childhood. We could never imagine the wilderness journey we were about to experience for nine long years.
What happened in December 2020, changed my life forever. The Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the deep deception I was in. During all those years, my heart's desire was to please God and follow Him with all that I had, and to be ready for His coming. I had to give up all my comfort, my sweet precious husband and even moving abroad to serve full-time in "THE LAST CALL OF YHWH ENDTIME MINISTRY", also called "YHWH יהוה IN THE UK ENDTIME MINISTRY" or "♛YHWH 2𝓦יהוהℌ𝔦𝔡𝔡𝔢𝔫 𝔦𝔫 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔫 𝔰𝔦𝔱𝔢⚔" in Wales (U.K.). Fasting of food, very little sleep and hard-core warfare had become a daily lifestyle. I cried out to my heavenly Father to purify my heart and crucify my flesh where I struggled to surrender fully. Yet I was still deceived. Philippians 3:7-15
"There is deception." These three words knocked my world upside down. God was speaking very clearly, with a still small voice on the inside of me. All kind of emotions ran through me, but I knew what I heard was correct. After all, the Holy Spirit already tried to warn me many times during all those years. 1 John 1:5-10
Deception? But why didn't I see it sooner? And why didn't I had the courage to step out from it? For the last nine years of my life, I had been deceived but I did not know I was deceived. I was part of a cult but I did not know I was part of a cult.
I learned a very valuable lesson. TOTAL REPENTANCE was the key for the open door to my freedom. Not only did I have to confess to the ones I hurt and left behind all those years, but I ALSO had to turn around and give it a hundred per cent in the opposite direction. CONFESS, REPENT, TURN AROUND AND SIN NO MORE. I broke with the cult in December 2020 and the spell and curses were broken over my life. John 8:10-12
Hope Grace and Mercy
In the following months I had the desire to dive into the Word of God and just "come home" again. I bought a brand new Bible and started to read it like a child, as if reading it for the first time and not seeing it through the lens of the deceptive and twisted doctrines of the cult. The deception had been long and very deep and so it is a hard process to unravel the lies in my head and to establish the Biblical principles and truth again in my life. Examining Biblical passages is so enlightening and it is necessary to put things in the right perspective. Psalm 119:105
A very important aspect for my healing is learning to find the divine mercy and freedom of Jesus Christ again and knowing that God is loving and forgiving. Working out my salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), knowing that God is not angry nor furious at me all the time; knowing that I will not be doomed to hell if I do not follow the instructions of the cult leader; but learning to adopt a lifestyle in faithful obedient daily living to God's holy Word.
The Holy Spirit began to show me that I had been under the mind control and abuse of an extreme narcissistic religious cult leader. The more I studied about this, the more I began to understand and recognize all the false marks, doctrines and manifestations that I witnessed in the cult. Galatians 1:8
The path to recovery is not an easy one, as it becomes clearer every day how deep the abuse has affected me. Self-care and spending lots of time in Gods stillness are essential for my mental health. Strengthening myself in the truth of God's Word is crucial and most important, as Jesus is truly my life saver. Psalm 57
Finding relief from my own pain is a process, but I chose to forgive because I honour God and I am very thankful as He Himself has forgiven my many sins. I give God all the glory and honour for leading me out of the deception and bringing me back home into His eternal arms of love. Matthew 6:12-15
Every day God's amazing Love, Hope, Grace and Mercy are healing my heart a little bit more. The peaceful silence is filled with His tangible Presence. The lush green and the variety of the multitude of flowers in the little garden, witness every day what a beautiful creative God He is. The young sparrows playing around and chasing the insects on the grapevine, are putting a smile on my face. My beautiful pet chickens are all special gifts from my heavenly Father. God is good and He cares for you, for me and for the little sparrows.